Learning to Lean

I’ve been anxious lately. I’ve learned from the past that these times of anxiety are there to teach me something. If I let them. With this latest bout, I have been trying to just ride out the waves of anxiety instead of fighting them. I find my moments of calm when I recall in the past how God used the anxiety triggers to get my attention and to remind me of my vulnerability and inability to control whatever it is I am insisting on controlling. To remind me that He is in control.  You see, when I sense that some area of my life is teetering on the brink of being out of my control that blanket of anxiety is thrown over me and the struggle begins.

Historically, I have ridden out these waves on my own, clinging to God’s promise to be right there with me always. Sometimes, that awareness brings me a deep and lasting peace, but a lot of times it brings me temporary peace, then the struggle continues.

The other day, when I was praying and leaning on God’s promises to ride out a wave of anxiety, a thought popped into my head. It was like God was saying, “I have put others in your life to lean on, too. Lean on my presence in them.”

For a minute I thought God was handing me over. He had had it with me and needed a break. But I know that isn’t true.  He was encouraging me to swallow my pride and ask for help when I need it from the people in my life that He has gifted me with. The people who carry His light and love within them and are willing and able to help me.

He is calling me to lean on them. But then I have to admit the silly things that make me anxious. I have to risk appearing childish and vulnerable. I have to reach that heroic humility I talked about last week that allows us to admit we need help.

In the classic Bill Withers song, “Lean on Me,” one of the verses goes:

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won’t let show.

How easy is it for you to let your needs show? Especially the not so obvious needs. The needs that are unique to the way God made you, wired you. The needs that might seem foolish or childish to others.

Let’s agree that it’s ok to lean on each other. It isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. What a beautiful world we would have if everyone leaned on each other instead of struggling by themselves. What power there would be for healing as we take our turns leaning and being leaned on.

I feel a deep peace at just the thought of it.

Aaahhh,
Joan