Overflowing Boundaries

Last Wednesday morning, for just a few hours, the otherwise serene and subdued Firstfruits space was transformed into a dance floor, a theater stage, and a playground. It became a place where we could overflow our boundaries. And boy did it feel good! They say we are made in God’s image and likeness. We often think of that image and likeness with a seriousness. I believe that image and likeness also has a childlike component to it. Born in all of us is a naivete and curiosity towards life. A simplicity and an openness. There is a wellspring of joy that bubbles in us. These childlike attributes are essentials for living the abundant life God wants for us. The naivete and curiosity keep us learning and risking. The simplicity and openness enable us to see the good in people, places, and things. And the wellspring of joy is pure gift from God that when expressed, becomes contagious. It has a healing ripple effect. Unfortunately, as we grow older, we put boundaries around this part of God’s image and likeness. It’s still there, but it’s boxed up and replaced by the more responsible and adultlike attributes.  Naivete becomes a sign of weakness.  Curiosity loses out to intellect. Worrying has replaced wondering.  A simple life is seen as a lazy, unproductive life. We’ve traded openness for judgment, which makes it harder and harder to see the good. And that wellspring of joy stays buried deep, destined for no one. I’m convinced that the antidote to all the sadness and angst we are feeling these days in response to the craziness in the world is to let out the light, the levity, and the love that we keep bound up. The way to do that is to overflow our boundaries once in a while. Do something that puts you back in contact with the God-child in you. If you are at a loss as to what that might be, here’s a suggestion from our time together last week. Just simply smile and raise your arms above your head for a minute. You’ll be amazed at how good it feels. Joan...

The Cross

I mentioned last week that I was helping our son and daughter-in-law move into their new house. This family of five was living in a one-bathroom house with three girls, so needless to say, it was time to make a change. The real estate market being as it is, it took a lot of time and patience to find something that checked the boxes and didn’t leave them bankrupt. They say good things come to those who wait. This house hunt proved that saying to be true. Patience and a big dose of divine intervention brought them to their new house. The house they found was home to a group of nuns for the last 35 years. Needless to say, it was well maintained and spotlessly clean. One of the movers said it was the cleanest bathrooms he had ever seen. Did you notice I said bathrooms? They now have three! There were lots of interesting and fun things about the house. What made us smile the most was when we saw the shadow of a cross on the wall in one of the bedrooms. (See pic above.) As we begin Holy Week, our minds instinctively go to the cross. It’s interesting to me how the image of a cross affects us. You can’t look at a cross and have no reaction. For some, it represents hope and brings feelings of love and gratitude. Others, it might cause feelings of shame and sadness. To some, it represents division among people and brings with it feelings of anger and confusion. Whatever the reaction, the cross makes us dive deep into where we are in our relationship with God. That’s a good place to be this week. Take some time to reflect on what the cross means to you. Joan...

Let’s Help

Our son and his family moved into a new house this past weekend. It’s a bit of a fixer-upper, so for the last three days, I have been hauling old carpeting, removing staples from the floors, scrubbing woodwork, and popping Ibuprofen! Moving is not fun. No matter how conscientious we are about periodically purging what we don’t use or wear anymore, the stuff just keeps coming. It’s times like this when I am reminded of my own abundance and I’m reminded of those who are in need. Below is a message from Mary Jo Nott, Firstfruit’s Outreach Coordinator. Please take the time to read it and prayerfully discern how you might join us in our efforts to recognize and more personally reach out to those who really need us right now. Joan During this time of Lent, I hope you have felt the effects of the long-time practices of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, including becoming more connected to your God and your neighbor. I’m asking you to consider some new ways to be involved in outreach with the Firstfruits Community. There are two opportunities we want to share with you, that we could really use your help with. We have been making lunches, serving meals, and providing gifts and service hours to events at the MacCanon Brown Homeless Sanctuary for years. This year, the spring toy giveaway is scheduled for May 16. Do you have an unused, rideable bike in your garage? This is the single most desired donation requested for the children of that neighborhood. Please let me know and I will arrange pickup and delivery. More recently, we have begun outreach to the single parent families who live at Trinity Woods and are enrolled in classes at Mount Mary University. We would like to organize a monthly collection of basic supplies to distribute to these moms and their children under the ages of 11. We’re looking for household items such as toilet paper, Kleenex, baggies, garbage bags, body wash, and cleaning supplies such as clothes detergent, dish washing soap, toilet bowl cleaner, etc. These are easy things to purchase when you make your weekly grocery run. If you are interested in helping with either of these new outreach opportunities, please let Mary Jo Nott know at 636-346-6351 to discuss pick up/drop off donation options and/or willingness to meet to brainstorm ways we can become more involved on a face-to-face basis. We are looking for ideas...

Befriending Death

On a scale of one to ten, how thrilled are you at the prospect of dying? Ten being, “I can’t wait!” and one being, “Can we change the subject, PLEASE?” Death is that elephant in the room of our lives. And it follows us from room to room, year to year. The elephant enters the room around the age of five. I can remember my own children suddenly worried about me being out of eyesight. There was anxiety around sleepovers and calls from play dates to come get them shortly after I dropped them off. It wasn’t always verbalized, but there was definitely a new found awareness that things die, including people. This week we had an inspiring talk at Firstfruits, by Jen Schultz, on the topic of near-death experiences. Jen’s own curiosity about death was the motivation to take a deep dive into the many documented experiences of people who died and lived to tell about it. Jen shared some interesting facts with us. The NDE is more common than you think. They have been reported all over the world and across all demographic categories such as culture, religion, age group, education level, etc. There are common elements reported in these NDEs. Among these commonalities are: A feeling of immediate peace and relief from pain Extraordinary mental clarity Arriving in an environment described as beautiful, peaceful, or “more real than real.” An overwhelming feeling of love, acceptance, and understanding. Returning to the body was often described as abrupt or even disappointing after the peace of the experience. One of the most consistent findings in the research Jen cites, is that people who report NDEs often experience long-lasting life changes including: Loss of the fear of death Greater compassion and empathy Stronger sense of meaning or purpose Less interest in material success Greater appreciation for relationships and everyday life Increased concern for nature Increased interest in spirituality These are all things we can strive for in our very much alive lives right now. That was my take-away from the talk. There is a lot to learn from what NDEers have experienced. I think all of us who were at the talk this week took one baby step closer to befriending death. We at least acknowledged the elephant in the room. We were open to others’ experiences, and as a result we came away comforted. As the first of the Spring flowers are poking their heads out, be reminded of,...

Lent in a Bag

At the mini-Lenten retreat last Monday at Firstfruits, we were introduced to a unique concept - Lent in a Bag. Jacque, the facilitator, provided each of us with a small muslin bag, and by the end of the morning, our bags were filled with reminders of what Lent is all about. There was a tiny bag of sand to remind us of this desert time when we are to use the silence and solitude to listen to God. There was a seashell to represent our baptism and the need to renew the promises we made, or our godparents made for us, on that day. There was a small stone to use to reflect on the stony places in our hearts that need transformation. There was a packet of seeds to remind us of the hope and transformation that is coming at the end of our Lenten journey. There was a candle to remind us to be a light in a world that is in such darkness. There was a clothespin, that looks kind of like a person. It’s a symbol of Jesus’s humanity and reminds us that we too can reflect the Divine in our humanity. The last item, the clothespin that represents Jesus, had the most significance for me. It’s become a part of my prayer time as I clip it over my heart to remind me that God loves me and I need to accept that truth and stop putting up obstacles to that love. That is my focus for Lent. To let God love me. That sounds so simple, but it’s not. I have always known that Jesus loves me. I heard it often enough in songs and from the priests and nuns during my childhood. I think I believed it as a child, but somewhere along the line, I became less sure of that fact. I began to doubt and wonder about God’s love, rather than live fully in it. I just couldn’t wrap my adult brain around the fact that Jesus really does love me, and that his mercy and grace make it possible for me to be loved in spite of my shortcomings. It just seemed too good to be true. Nothing comes so easily. Those are grown up thoughts. And not true when it comes to God’s love. Last week, I wrote about the importance of becoming more childlike in order to grow closer to God. I have realized I need to be more...

Alice in Wonderland

On an uncharacteristically spring-like day this week, our one-year-old granddaughter, Alice, and I ventured outside. For an hour, I lived in Alice’s world. I let her take the lead. We marveled at the wind-blown leaves as they tumbled by. We double-fisted as many weathered acorn caps as we could, holding on to them for dear life. We crawled in the wet grass to investigate a stick. We let the intense brightness of the sun close our eyes and render us motionless. We patted the trunk of a tree. In that Alice hour, I caught a glimpse of the kingdom of heaven. Alice and I were in wonderland. Jesus often reminded his followers of the need to become like children to enter the kingdom of heaven. He welcomed children and used them as examples of how we are to live. Simplicity, wonder, and curiosity are hallmarks of a little one. Everything around them is bursting with newness and inviting discovery. Their minds are always in the moment. There is no regret from the past or anxiety about what is to come. They trust without reservation. I believe this way of seeing and living in the world is what we are all called to. If we can manage to do it, then we experience heaven on earth. Lent is a good time for a reboot. A time to do the work of dying to our old habits and opening ourselves to a wonderful new way of doing life. Alice’s way Joan Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3...

The Unknowing

As I am growing closer to the fourth quarter of life, more often than not, I am finding myself in situations that are perplexing to me. I used to feel informed and knowledgeable. Now, I feel quite the opposite. I have a new found awareness that there is more and more I don’t know. This unknowing hits me in the Apple Store at Mayfair mall. It became very apparent as I watched the Grammy Awards last week. And it’s extremely profound when I try to decipher the foreign language my grandkids use to speak to each other. They get a real kick out of trying to explain the modern vernacular to this old gal. All this sudden unknowing has me a little scared and sad. It’s a reminder of the rapid passing of time. But it also intrigues me. It’s a call to learn something new or try something new.  That is a challenge I’m willing to take on. We deal with much deeper unknowings every day that can leave us scared and sad. The future of our country, our world, our church, ourselves, and those we love, are just a few examples. Fear of the unknown is a common thread that binds us all. Next Wednesday, February 11 at 10:00 we will come together with that common thread for “Well Time and More” to hear Betsy Gonwa teach us how to befriend the fear and trepidation and move into the unknown with gentleness and grace. With the examples of mystics like St. John of the Cross and St. Ignatius of Loyola, along with scientists and present-day authors, we will find the silver lining in the unknown. I “know” you will want to be there. Joan Click here for a description of the "Well Time and More" event. Click here to go to the Firstfruits registration page....

It’s No Yolk

Our grandson, Drew, is in first grade. Yesterday, he brought home the worksheet that you see above. The truth in his words is so simple, yet so powerful. Imagine what the world could be like if this truth informed our every thought, word, and deed. The world would be what we all are longing for it to be. Our unique differences come in many shapes and forms, not just colors. As a result of things like personality, education, family of origin, and life experiences, we present to the world in many and varied ways. Not only are there differences in skin color, but differences in political views, religious affiliations, how we prioritize our time, and what we spend our money on. The list goes on and on. Outward things that can cause us to forget that inside we are all the same. We are children of God, worthy of the respect and dignity that comes with that inheritance. The divisions and escalating disrespect in our world can only be repaired and healed by getting back to basics. The basics Drew is reminding us of. There are such senseless divisions in our communities, our families, even our churches, because of our inability to see through the outside to the inside. To that place where we are all the same. I sing in the choir at church. We are one choir with four different voices. We have sopranos, altos, tenors, and basses, which sound very different, but it’s exactly that difference that allows for such beautiful harmony. We need to view the world in the same way. Our dignity as children of God is that place where we are all the same. And it’s from that place, our song is to be sung to the world. If we can keep that truth in mind no matter what we look like, or sound like, we can bring such harmony to a divided world. And that’s no yolk, Joan...

Forgiving Yourself

It’s almost three weeks into the new year and I can’t seem to find the “want to” to take down our Christmas tree. I love relaxing in the glow of the tree at night with the room lights turned down. I’m in no hurry to move on. This Christmas, and the weeks leading up to it, were strangely peaceful and soul satisfying. I’m not sure what to attribute it to other than a gift from God. It’s hard to believe it or admit it, but sometimes I think God is happy with me. I feel a smile. How about you? Do you ever let yourself believe that? So often, I hear women share that they never feel like they do enough, they don’t feel worthy of God’s love, or they wish God would just spell it out what was expected of them and they would do it. Then maybe, they could feel that God was happy with them. A big obstacle to us feeling God’s pleasure is our inability to forgive ourselves. If you remember, in my last blog, as I was focusing on the upcoming celebration of the birth of Jesus, I posed the question, “What needs to be birthed in your life?”  I realized I needed to birth more forgiveness in my life. I have taken that to heart and have been trying really hard to be aware of when I need to bear down (pardon the birthing reference) and forgive. Harsh remarks, perceived slights, and bruised egos are tough to rise above. It’s real work, but we get plenty of opportunities to practice forgiveness in daily life. I quickly became aware of something that really surprised me as I focused on forgiveness. I knew that I couldn’t forgive as I had hoped to on my own. I needed God’s help. I needed the fuel of God’s love for me in order to show love to others, through forgiveness. And in order to feel God’s love, I had to make it a habit to forgive myself first. I hadn’t realized how guilt and shame can lay beneath the surface and prevent us from knowing and feeling God’s love. It prevents us from feeling worthy of God’s love. As a result, it prevents us from being able to forgive others more easily. If forgiveness is hard for you, begin by forgiving yourself for weaknesses and short comings. Strive to be better, but never lose sight of...

Birthing

It’s been a long time since I gave birth, thirty-five years to be exact. But the memories linger for a lifetime. Giving birth involves waiting, surrender, and pain. The outcome, however, brings such joy, and leaves a permanent imprint on the heart. It changes everything. It’s life altering. This week we will celebrate a birth. The birth of a baby that changed everything for all humanity, a baby who became the model for us of how we are to live this life here on Earth, and a baby who became the Way to live life in eternity. When a new baby is born, we give a gift. As my gift to this baby this Christmas, I am taking seriously a question I heard in a podcast I was listening to last week. What needs to be birthed in your life? As I have been pondering that question, I have mentally traveled a sobering road of discovery. I’ve asked myself, “What in me needs a do-over? Where could I use a reboot? What good thing is slowly dying in me that needs new life, a rebirth, so that I can live more like the baby we celebrate this week?” Through this pondering, I ‘ve come to the realization that what needs to be birthed in my life is forgiveness. Now comes the waiting, the surrender, and the pain, but I know if I have more forgiveness in my life, it will change everything. It will be life-altering. What needs to be birthed in your life? Patience, compassion, unconditional love, generosity, kindness, selflessness - the list is endless. What change will be your baby gift this Christmas? Don’t expect it to happen overnight or under your own efforts. Invite God into the labor. Looking for a midwife, Joan...