Something Good
Do you ever have moments in life when you feel like you’ve just gotten a big hug from God? When your worries, whether justifiable or the product of your own unfounded ruminations, seem to disappear. When the hurts and resentments that have taken up permanent residence in your thoughts take a nap. When the beauty around you comes into such clear view that you feel like crying. That happened to me this week. On a getaway up north with three beautiful women I get to call friends, I had moments when the food, the sharing, the surroundings, and the ease and beauty of it all overwhelmed me. When those moments overtook me, not only did I get a lump in my throat, but the words from my favorite musical echoed in my head: Nothing comes from nothing Nothing ever could So somewhere in my youth or childhood I must have done something good. Maria and Captain Von Trapp exchanged these words in that moon-lit gazebo in The Sound of Music. For some reason (maybe because I am obsessed with that movie) I think of that when I feel those God hugs. Isn’t it funny that my first thought, when I feel goodness, beauty, and love, is to make it be a reward for something? It can’t just be. Reward, rather than divine love, because nothing comes from nothing right? Wrong. God’s love comes from nothing we do. It was there before we could do anything and never ends. I think God gets frustrated with us when we can’t just accept His tender mercies and glimpses of divine beauty as testimony to His unwavering, unconditional love for us. We don’t have to earn them or deserve them. They just are. If we could accept that and relax in it, imagine how much peace and joy would flood our days. I think that is what He has in mind. Joan Something does come from nothing I’m loved before I could Somehow from my youth to adulthood (and beyond) God continues to do something (very) good. Here is something really good! Registration for Firstfruits' new season is officially open! Check out our line-up of awesome offerings both In-Person and on Zoom at Firstfruits.info. I pray that you can join us and please spread the word!...
Me and My Bike
I found this gal at TJ Maxx this week and had to bring her home. She reminded me that I need to be resting and so I am. No blog this week, I’m resting with Him. I hope you are too. (See last week’s blog.) Joan...
Just Enjoy the Rest
I don’t know what it is about summer, but suddenly God seems very far away. I’m asking, seeking, and knocking, but it appears nobody is home. I know they always say when that happens, it is not that God has gone anywhere, we have. So, then I ramp up my spiritual practices to make up for it. More rosaries, more daily devotionals and scripture reading, and getting to mass before the opening song. I find myself reading scripture slower and being more deliberate in my prayer. All good things done with the right intention. Sometimes it all just seems like I’m putting on a show for God. Making our way back ends up feeling like a lot of work. I don’t think that is what God intends for us. Do you suppose this summer feeling isn’t a call to work for God, it’s a call to rest with God? Not rest from God, but rest with. Stop working so hard to be spiritual and use the energy and time to recognize God in the simple goodness of life. We’ve heard the verse “Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.” How about “Rest and see the goodness of the Lord?” How often our spiritual life just seems like a lot of things to do. It’s no wonder we wander at times. We need to take the time to wonder at all the goodness around us. This time of year, it’s a bit easier since the days are warmer, the trees and gardens are lush and green, and we find ourselves on vacations or staycations with family and friends. So much goodness all around. God is closer than ever, maybe just not in the way you think it should be. So, pull up an extra lawn chair, set out an extra plate of watermelon, grill an extra brat, and invite God to join you as you rest the rest of this summer with Him. Don’t fret if you feel disconnected and wondering where God is. He’s just grabbing a soda out of the cooler. Joan...
Where Do I Belong
I grew up in a suburb of Chicago. Niles, Illinois to be exact. Home of the Leaning Tower of Pisa YMCA. (See picture above) I’m not kidding you. Why and how, I have no idea. We never asked. It just seemed normal to me as a kid. Who doesn’t see a replica of the Leaning Tower of Pisa on their way to swim lessons? My senior year in high school, my best friend Mary and I decided to go visit her sister who was attending the University of Wisconsin- LaCrosse. I had no idea where that was but thought, why not. Mary and I took the five-hour Amtrak ride to LaCrosse and immediately, I fell in love with the bluffs and the fact that I was not too far away from home but far enough to feel like I was on my own. Mary and I knew we had found the university we would call home for the next four years. One fateful day my freshman year, while treating myself to a soft serve cone at the food center on campus, I met a tall, dark, and handsome fella from Mineral Point, Wisconsin and the rest is history. Part of that history was settling in Milwaukee. I love Milwaukee...
I’m Speechless
What more can I say? It happened again. See the picture above, that is my slice of pizza at my granddaughter’s birthday party last week. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, read my last blog. I just love God, Joan...
What Do You Need?
A strange phenomenon has been occurring at mealtime lately. No, my husband hasn’t given up his meat and potato diet for kale and quinoa. My food has come alive. The picture above is a case in point. A banana muffin looking up at me at breakfast seemingly saying, “Don’t even think about it!” Below, is another of my run ins. My spoonful of oatmeal seemed to be smiling at me. See it? Or maybe it’s just me and my need for anthropomorphism (assigning human traits to non-human entities.) in my day. Yes, I have to admit, I need fun and whimsy to feel fully alive. What do you need to feel fully alive? When was the last time you felt fully alive? What were you doing? I have been pondering the concept of self-care a lot lately after listening to a podcast on the topic. Most of us think of self-care as taking time for a manicure, massage, extended shopping spree, or sleeve of Oreos. But those are all just band aids on the sore. To heal the sore, we need to know what it is we really need. And that doesn’t always come as easily as you would think. We spend so much time taking care of the needs of those around us that we often have a hard time defining what our needs are, let alone caring for those needs. So instead of healing the sores of life, we confuse self-care with escaping life. As Glennon Doyle mentioned in her podcast, our goal should be to live a life we don’t need to escape from. That is where God’s grace comes in. And only God’s grace. Ask any mother of young children. Or the wife of an alcoholic husband. Or the daughter of an Alzheimer’s afflicted mom. Often, we can’t escape our circumstances which can lead to resentments and all kinds of negative emotions. That is when we really have to lean on God and the face of God in the people and places and things that he puts in our lives to meet our needs. We are each so loved by the God who created us and knows us better than anyone. God knows I need humor and fun in my life to be happy and to feel cared for. I also need quiet, but not for too long. And I need you. The friendship of women like you has been the most powerful manifestation of...
Room For All
Let’s face it, the pandemic has affected all aspects of life including our spiritual life. Scientists and medical professionals worry about the long-term effects of the virus on us physically. I’m wondering about the long-term effects on us spiritually. I’ve had a number of very honest conversations with women who are experiencing a post-pandemic shift in their otherwise staid thinking on just what church means to them. It’s like their spiritual equilibrium has shifted slightly and they are feeling off balance, not quite as steady as they had been. The fear and the uncertainty of the last eighteen months has been a reality check for many of us. An opportunity to take pause and reflect on our spiritual habits or lack thereof. Anytime we slow down and reflect inward, feelings of confusion and anxiety can rise up. That’s good. It means we are growing. But often if feels anything but good. We can feel like we are in a spiritual crisis and in need of God’s “first responders”, a term that Word on Fire fellow Stephen Bullivant uses when describing the church in his introduction to Catholicism after Coronavirus. And by church, he means all of us. Pope Francis issued an invitation in his 2013 apostolic exhortation Evangelii Gaudium, “to be bold and creative in this task of rethinking the goals, structures, style and methods of evangelization in their respective communities.” That quote has been on the Firstfruits website since its inception. That is what Firstfruits is all about. We are God’s first responders to those who are hungering for a lived, meaningful faith. Speaking of responders, I was overwhelmed with the response to my S.O.S blog. Thank you so much to all who took the time to send me your reflections. Your responses were all across the board. They were beautiful in their depth, sincerity, and honesty, and in the fact that they reaffirmed in me the importance of making sure there is room for all in any new, creative evangelization effort. Room for those who are so angry at church right now that they couldn’t comment. Room for those whose first time back to church in person was described as “thrilling” and they “wept like a baby” when receiving the Eucharist. One woman said she missed “just taking a breath in a sacred place.” Room for those who expressed a sadness when church closed but also a new and enriched experience of God outside of...
S.O.S.
I need your help. I am finding it harder and harder to write blogs each week now that summer is here. I don’t want to stop though. God doesn’t take a break from us for the summer so I don’t think we should take a break from God. What I would like to do is send you a thought to ponder and I ask that you would write me back what it has stirred in you in the hopes that your input will be just what I need to keep the blog-writing juices flowing. This week I want to send you part of a blog that I read from author and speaker, Jen Hatmaker. It really spoke to me about a challenge I have had following the COVID induced absence from in-person church attendance. And some confused and unsettling feelings upon returning. Church to me right now feels like my best friend, my porch bed, my children and parents and siblings. It feels like meditation and my pecan trees. It feels like my kitchen table, my porch. It feels like Jesus who never asked me to meet him anywhere but in my heart. I am holding space for anyone for whom church feels complicated; struggling with your own ghosts. Jesus is near and good and dear where ever you are. Outside the sanctuary but also inside it too, because he will be found. Wherever you meet Jesus, and his people, and his love for the world and his ways, and his healing work, it is good. You are good. Jesus is good. This is all I know for now. What do you know? Please help me. Joan ...
The Invitation
Since my last blog, I've met the Holy Spirit. The irony of it was that this encounter was on Pentecost Sunday. I was supposed to golf that afternoon with my friend Kathy but the weather wasn’t cooperating so we canceled. As I was walking from my car to church that morning, I saw Kathy walking ahead of me. We had no idea we attended mass at the same parish. Such a nice surprise. We ended up sitting next to each other. On Pentecost Sunday the “Golden Sequence”, known as the Veni Sancte Spiritus (Come, Holy Spirit) prayer to the Holy Spirit is prayed and chanted. The repetition of this invitation as it’s chanted is powerful. If we really mean it and really want it, it really happens. My goosebumps and tears let the Holy Spirit know I meant it and wanted it and I wasn’t disappointed. After mass Kathy and I decided as long as our original plan for the day was thwarted why not defer to Plan B: breakfast and a mimosa! We had a delicious breakfast and deep conversation that we both felt was an answer to prayer. Time flew by as we shared our challenges, were honest about our shortcomings, and laughed at ourselves all the while sensing, as the morning was unfolding, that it was a gift. Since we were at a restaurant close to Firstfruits, I asked Kathy if I could show her the space. I got to tell her all about Firstfruits, to share with her something so near and dear to my heart. Every time I have the opportunity to tell the Firstfruits story I am overwhelmed with gratitude and a deep sense of the power of the Holy Spirit when we give it room to work. Before we knew it, it was early afternoon and we decided it was time to head home. I felt such a peace the rest of the day. I smiled every time I thought about how I left the house to go to mass that morning, sad and disappointed that my day wasn’t going to go as planned, and ended up back home four hours later full of hope, peace and the Holy Spirit! So much more than a round of golf can provide. The next day we exchanged texts about how that sense of peace had stuck with us. It was hard to explain but so real. I think that every day could be like...
What’s in a Name?
Our grandson, James, turned nine this week. He’s a typical nine-year-old boy with a sports minded dad, grandpa, and uncles so for his birthday we got him a Milwaukee Bucks hooded sweatshirt and a LeBron James tee shirt. In case you don’t know, LeBron James is a star player for the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team and the name our grandson puts on all of his school papers. Good thing he has a teacher with a sense of humor. I expected lots of smiles and excitement when he opened the sports apparel but was so shocked at the reaction when he found a small surprise hidden on top of the sweatshirt. That’s when God showed up at the party. Our grandkids spend a lot of time at Firstfruits. They love to play with the toys there in the Childcare room or sit at the registration desk and pretend to be receptionists. They fill out the comment cards with very affirming comments like “I love it here.” or “This place is great!” Just what I need to hear. Strangely, the one thing they comment on all the time are the name tags of all the women who have joined us at Firstfruits over the years so creatively displayed thanks to Mary Stack, my partner in crime. They like to create their own name tag whenever they are there. For some reason having a name tag was important. So, I asked Mary to make James his very own official Firstfruits name tag on our signature green paper with logo and in a plastic sleeve with the magnets instead of clips or pins that can snag your clothing. (That Mary, she thinks of everything.) I placed the name tag on top of the sweatshirt and when James opened that present, he let out a shout of joy at the sight of that green paper. He wore the name tag for the rest of the party as he was shooting hoops with his uncles in the driveway. Such a simple thing meant so much. It carried great significance to a nine-year-old. It carried great significance to me, too. As I mentioned in my blog last week, I’ve been keeping my eyes and my heart open to the unique ways that God loves me. I encourage you to do the same. It’s amazing what you will see and feel. God’s love not only comes with a sense of being cared for, listened to,...