Forgiving Yourself

It’s almost three weeks into the new year and I can’t seem to find the “want to” to take down our Christmas tree. I love relaxing in the glow of the tree at night with the room lights turned down. I’m in no hurry to move on. This Christmas, and the weeks leading up to it, were strangely peaceful and soul satisfying. I’m not sure what to attribute it to other than a gift from God.

It’s hard to believe it or admit it, but sometimes I think God is happy with me. I feel a smile. How about you? Do you ever let yourself believe that?

So often, I hear women share that they never feel like they do enough, they don’t feel worthy of God’s love, or they wish God would just spell it out what was expected of them and they would do it. Then maybe, they could feel that God was happy with them.

A big obstacle to us feeling God’s pleasure is our inability to forgive ourselves.

If you remember, in my last blog, as I was focusing on the upcoming celebration of the birth of Jesus, I posed the question, “What needs to be birthed in your life?”  I realized I needed to birth more forgiveness in my life. I have taken that to heart and have been trying really hard to be aware of when I need to bear down (pardon the birthing reference) and forgive. Harsh remarks, perceived slights, and bruised egos are tough to rise above. It’s real work, but we get plenty of opportunities to practice forgiveness in daily life.

I quickly became aware of something that really surprised me as I focused on forgiveness. I knew that I couldn’t forgive as I had hoped to on my own. I needed God’s help. I needed the fuel of God’s love for me in order to show love to others, through forgiveness. And in order to feel God’s love, I had to make it a habit to forgive myself first.

I hadn’t realized how guilt and shame can lay beneath the surface and prevent us from knowing and feeling God’s love. It prevents us from feeling worthy of God’s love. As a result, it prevents us from being able to forgive others more easily.

If forgiveness is hard for you, begin by forgiving yourself for weaknesses and short comings. Strive to be better, but never lose sight of God’s love and mercy and delight in your efforts.

Feel the smile?
Joan