I Don’t Like You

In addition to death and taxes, I have discovered that there is one other inescapable reality of life. There are going to be people who don’t like me.

I realize I have spent much of my life avoiding thinking about that or working hard to make sure it couldn’t happen. In my efforts to stave off the inevitable, I often sacrifice my own needs for those of others. I have a hard time saying no. I do things I don’t really want to do and then get resentful.

I envy those who can go through life not caring what people think of them. They can easily say no to requests; they seem to live life on their terms and are always looking out for their best interest.

I envy them? Well, not really. I wouldn’t want to operate like that either.

I think there must be a happy medium between me and them. A life in balance between the needs of others and our own needs. For many, women in particular, that happy medium is out of reach for most of our lives.

With age and wisdom, I can feel myself letting go of my desire to be liked. I can feel myself being more authentic. My middle-school syndrome is on the road to recovery. That recovery started when I opened myself to the truth that the only love and connection that really matters is the love of, and connection to, God. The only group that will fill my need to belong is a group of two, me and God.

We need to let go of the disordered ways we have adopted to make sure we are liked, we are included, we belong. We can trade them in for a more authentic way of living. Because we know that at the core of our being, we are liked, loved, and included.  We have always and will always belong to a loving God.

The more time we spend in close connection with God and the more effort we put into growing our awareness of the Holy Spirit alive and at work in our lives, the easier it will be to live an authentic grace-fueled life. To be who God made us to be. To follow God’s direction in the choices we make even when some of those choices may seem selfish to others.

Learning to say NO, (Well sort of.)

Joan