Chances
In an effort to shine a positive light on the events of the last couple months I would like to pose a question. What if our world was turned upside down for a reason? What if these events are affording us a once in a lifetime chance? One of my new favorite children’s books is Kobi Yamada’s What Do You Do With a Chance? In the book he describes the adventure of a little boy who encounters some remarkable chances but doesn’t quite know what to do with them. The more they come around, the more his fascination grows. Then one day, with a little courage he takes a chance and it makes all the difference. On the inside flap of the book it also says “This is a story for anyone, at any age, who has ever wanted something but was afraid of risking too much to get it. It’s a story to inspire you. To embrace the chances that come into your life. Because you never know when a chance, once taken, might be the one to change everything.” Regardless of your view on how and why this pandemic started, whether you lean to a more spiritual and philosophical reason or a scientific reason or a political reason, it’s hard to argue the fact that it has the potential to have a permanent and lasting effect on all of us. If we let it. I’ve heard from many people that in their quiet time they have come to the conclusion that they don’t necessarily want things to return to the way they were. One person put it this way, she said “I need a remodel of my soul.” Now is the time. Could your relationships use a fresh coat of paint? Could some of your old thoughts, actions, and attitudes be updated? Any emotional or spiritual walls you’ve put up that need to come down to make a more spacious room for God? Now is your chance. What do you do with a chance? Joan Note: In this quiet time it has become clear that God is giving Firstfruits a chance. A chance to join and support more women on their unique paths to a meaningful, lived faith. We have been visioning and discerning just what that will look like and we could use your help. For the next few months I invite you to share your thoughts on the topics I will be presenting in my blogs in...
Spring Routines
I have been watching this tree outside my window bud for the last month, literally. It’s outside my morning prayer spot. I have never had the time, or should I say, taken the time, to daily watch the progression of a budding tree before the pandemic hit. There’s a silver lining. I am amazed at how within each individual small bud that is emerging there are so many tiny green sprouts that will become part of a bundle of leaves so thick they will completely cover my view of the landscape behind them. The gift of God’s creativity and comfort shines in this annual routine. And the birds that come and sit periodically in the tree are amazing. They take me by surprise when they do. I try to stay real still so they don’t leave. The branches are so close to the window I really do have a birds-eye view. Pardon the pun. The robins building nests and the woodpeckers pecking wood. I never realized how busy Spring is in it’s predictable routines. There is an office building not too far off in the distance and every day the same cars with the same people show up. In fact I could set my clock by their arrival. I feel like I have gotten to know them. There is the woman with the yellow jacket that gets out of her red mini van and the gentleman who gets out of the white car and empties what is left of his coffee in the grass then grabs his jacket and lunch from the back seat. Same thing every day, a comforting routine. Anyone who has been around children knows how routine is so important for their well-being and those around them. There is something so comforting about routine. We never outgrow that desire and that craving for routine. That is why, when our routine gets disrupted, things can get ugly. We are all learning these past months just how fragile our routines are. How quickly they can be disrupted and how easily we can become disoriented when they do. The thing about routines is that it gives us some semblance of order, predictability, and sameness and that allows us to trust and feel at peace that things are as they should be. We find comfort in that sameness. Now more than ever we need to find our new sense of sameness. Look to nature this Spring. Let its predictability remind you...
No More Wonder Woman
The first step in the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous says: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable When you talk to anyone in a twelve-step program, they say that this first step is one of the hardest. Who wants to admit they are powerless? Who wants to admit they can’t manage life? It’s those confessions that keep many from recovery. But it’s the place they have to start in order to heal. Admitting powerlessness is the key that unlocks the process. It’s the obstacle that needs to be surmounted in order to know healing, serenity, and the ever-present love of a Higher Power. We had our first Firstfruits Well Time session on Zoom this past Wednesday morning. Over thirty women joined us as we shared our fears, our concerns, and our hope. After the session one of the participants sent me an email with a reflection by Henri Nouwen. I want to share it with you. Obstacles to God’s Love by Henri Nouwen What keeps us from opening to the reality of the world? Could it be that we cannot accept our powerlessness and are only willing to see those wounds that we can heal? Could it be that we don’t want to give up our illusion that we are masters over our world and, therefore, create our own Disneyland where we can make ourselves believe that all events of life are safely under control? Could it be that our blindness and deafness are signs of our own resistance to acknowledging that we are not the Lord of the Universe? It is hard to allow these questions to go beyond the level of rhetoric and to really sense in our innermost self how much we resent our powerlessness. I have a hard time accepting my powerlessness. How about you? Until we can accept that powerlessness as reality, we can’t know fully the love God has for us. It’s in the laying down of our swords that we let in the love and provision that God has waiting for us. Our need to feel in control is one of the biggest obstacles to experience healing, serenity, and the ever-present love of our God. Take that first step I quoted earlier and replace “alcohol” with a blank. Then fill in the blank for yourself. What do you need to admit you are powerless over? Really powerless. Where do you think you have control...
Easter?
Today is Easter Sunday. Normally, there is such a sense of relief and joy associated with this day. We’ve made it through another Lent with all it’s deprivations, somber tones, and sadness. We are able to look back on the last weeks with gratitude as a time of discipline, deep cleaning of our souls, and determination to bring new life to our lives. But that is just it, we can look back, it's over, and we can look forward to a newness, to a second chance at being our best. With the first sound of the trumpet, the smell of the lilies, and the shouts of Alleluia, we can rejoice reminded that Jesus is risen and once again in his right place with the Father. That the incomprehensible love of God through the suffering of Jesus has provided for us the hope and assurance of our right place. This Easter is different. I don’t feel that usual sense of relief, sense of joy, sense of newness. There is a subtle yet unmistakable feeling of disquiet. Nothing feels like it has changed. We are still stuck in this time of deprivations, somber tones, and sadness. I feel like I’m faking it as I fill the plastic eggs with jellybeans for the socially distanced Easter egg hunt with the grandkids today. I feel like I was going through the motions as I watched services for the Triduum on my iPad. But then I realize that is how the virus has infected me. I might not be physically sick, but spiritually I have let it zap me, and I need to fight that. The world right now is telling me a somber story, but my faith is telling me a very different story. And it’s that story I need to listen to. Especially today. This Easter is very different by worldly standards, but nothing can take away the significance and the beauty of this joyful day. The promise the empty tomb brings can’t be wiped out by anything. That is Easter joy! May you and those you love feel God’s presence in a new and deeper way this Easter. Joan...
The Lazy River
This week I finally sent the email canceling our family trip we had planned for the end of May. To celebrate our fortieth wedding anniversary we were going to take our three adult children and their spouses on a tropical vacation. The resort we were going to boasts of the largest and longest Lazy River ride in the world. As the reality of winter in Wisconsin was bearing down hard these last months, I would close my eyes and just picture myself on one of those big inner tubes floating down the lazy river with the sun kissing my face. Not a care in the world. Just letting the movement of the water take me wherever I needed to go. Total peace. That lazy river will have to wait. But I seem to have found myself in another lazy river of a very different kind. During this third week of social distancing I have found myself surrendering. I’m waving the white flag. I feel as though I have settled into it a bit. I have come to the realization I can’t wish this nightmare away, I can’t worry it away, I can’t eat it away, and I can’t control it away. It is here to stay, for now. What I must do is accept that reality. I had gotten tired of the undercurrent of anxiety and the battle to fight it. Instead of fighting the current, I decided to settle into it. To let it win. I’ve entered God’s lazy river ride. It’s calling me. I’m going to let the movement of these unchartered waters take me where I need to go. Take me to places where God knows I need to go. I have to trust, be open, and be content. Lay back and go with the movements. It’s so much more peaceful than the fight. I have to admit, I do still stick my leg out once in a while to try and touch the wall and feel like I am in control again, but soon realize it’s pointless. As we begin this holiest of weeks in this craziest of times, settle into this lazy river of God’s complete and perfect love for you. Sit back, relax, and let him take you where it is you need to go with him. On this ride to Easter, let him show you sights you may never have seen before and draw you closer than you ever imagined. Let...
These Puzzling Times
My sanity saver during this time of social isolation has been a one-thousand-piece puzzle. I was never a big puzzle person but desperate times call for desperate measures. Working on a puzzle to me was right up there with showering once a week and blaring the TV as signs of “the next phase” in life that I am trying to deny. But as hard as I try, the mirror, and the guy on my couch full time now make it undeniable. Time has marched on. What is so awesome about working on a puzzle though is seeing it go from total chaos, disarray and fractured pieces to harmony, beauty, and oneness. From many to one through connection. A beautiful picture evolves from connecting the many individual pieces. Last week I shared my “Lessons From a Virus” blog that included some observations and lessons that have come out of these last few weeks. This week the lesson I have learned is the importance of connection. Real connection. Virtual meetings, classrooms, and masses will have to do for now, and I am grateful for them. They really have shown me, however, how much I miss real connection. Connection with my family, friends, and my faith. The old adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder” couldn’t be more true. Maybe the absence of real connection has brought with it an awareness of how much we need each other and need a living, meaningful faith. One of the many hidden gems to be mined during this tough time. Without this connection to others, we can find ourselves in chaos, disarray, and fractured liked the puzzle pieces. Ask any mom or dad of small children these days! Without this connection to a living and meaningful faith, we can find ourselves in chaos, disarray, and fractured as we let anxiety and fear take the wheel instead of the hope that our faith promises. Maybe that’s what this is all about. The proverbial hit on the head or slap across the face that brings us to an awareness of just how crucial our connections are. We should never take them for granted. We need to nurture them, grow them, maintain them at all costs. How are the relationships in your life? Anyone you need to reconnect with? How alive and meaningful is your faith life? Is there a kink in your connection to God? Harmony, beauty, and oneness can be the scene at the end of this...
Lessons From a Virus
In some ways I am feeling responsible for the Corona virus outbreak. I’ve heard it said that when you pray to God for things like more patience, courage or perseverance, he doesn’t wave a magic wand and poof, you are patient, brave or the Energizer Bunny. Instead, he gives you opportunities to practice those things, to acquire them through discipline, resolve and grace. Well as you recall, I have devoted this Lent to giving up control. I earnestly desired to grow in my ability to hand things over to God, to “set it down.” To shift my default button in life from fear and control to acceptance and gratitude. What better opportunity to practice that then a Corona virus pandemic! I have really struggled this week to write a blog. There is so much that has been occupying my socially isolated mind that it is hard to distill it into a couple paragraphs. I fluctuate between the intense sadness and seriousness of it all and the intense absurdity of it all. Our granddaughter Maggie turned six on March 19. So Papa and I dropped her gift off and stood outside while she opened it. (See the pic). Then we drove right home and hunkered back down. Absurd. But so grateful we are celebrating something happy. Many aren’t and that is the serious, sad part in all of this. In an effort to provide a temporary distraction from the four walls you have been staring at I want to share some random thoughts, lessons and humor I found so far in this enormous opportunity God has given me to practice letting go of control. The first thing to go was the need to control my day. I had nothing to control really, but I tried. It took me days to just stop thinking so much about what I should be doing and just be. To let my day unfold. Remarkably, at the end of the day, what needed to get done, got done. I noticed a letting go of my need to have my husband live up to my expectations. (Don’t let him know that). The prospect of being with him in the same space all day, everyday, for an unknown period of time with no escape was the terror I needed to be able to let go, to lower those expectations. I found myself softening in my usual habit of ruminating and hanging on to offenses for...
Baby Steps
I just thought I would update you on how I am doing on my resolve to give up control for Lent. I was right; it’s much harder than chocolate or mascara. For the most part I am doing better than expected. I did have a few slip ups like when I was having dinner with my daughter and eight month old grandson who was keeping himself amused with a tightly folded plastic bag, banging it on the table. He loves things that crinkle. I had to ask my daughter if it was OK that he was playing with a plastic bag. That was my passive, aggressive way of saying, “He’s playing with a plastic bag, next thing you know it will be on his head!” (Which, by the way, would be quite a feat for an 8 month old to open a tightly folded plastic bag and put it up over his head. Especially his head!) (See above photo.) But I couldn’t control myself. I just had to control what I perceived as a potential disaster. On the flip side, I did have a few minor victories in the giving up of control area. The first day of my new “set it down” lifestyle, (See my last blog.) I went all day without making my bed. Sounds easy, but it wasn’t for me. I usually make the bed right away when I get up. You just never know what the day will bring and if I will have time to do it later, so best to just do it. Well, the day passed and the bed police never showed up to ticket me for an unmade bed. My bed and I lived to see another day. A couple days later we had the family over and my husband was going to go to Papa Murphy’s and pick up some pizzas. I started into my usual litany of sizes, toppings, crust type and then this little voice said “set it down” and I stopped and just said, “Get whatever you want.” And you know what? He figured it out by himself and we all had just what we wanted. Last Wednesday morning my faithful Firstfruits partner Mary had the room set up already when I arrived for Well Time. The usual chairs in a circle with the “well” in the middle. However, this particular morning lets just say what Mary saw as the middle of the circle...
Control No More
So what are you giving up for Lent? I have decided to give up control for Lent. What exactly does that mean, you say? Isn’t that the opposite of the discipline of fasting that is encouraged during these 40 days? Fasting takes a great deal of control. Controlling our carts as they propel us into the unnecessary aisle at Target. Controlling the steering wheel as we drive by Kopps and the flavor of the day is Tiramasu, or controlling our tongue as the car behind us decides we are driving too slow past Kopps and lays on the horn. This is a different control, and yes, it will take a lot of control to fast from control. But I know my need for control is one of my biggest obstacles to a deeper, more transforming relationship with God. Not being able to hand the reins over is a constant challenge. Not being able to set it down. During the February Fire, winter workshop at Firstfruits last Sunday, we talked about Self Care. We were encouraged to ponder where we are in that discipline. As I was writing down things I could do to take care of myself, the phrase “Set it down” popped into my mind. I don’t really know what that means, but it was loud and clear. One of those moments of clarity and at the same time wonder. What is “it”? Who wants me to set “it” down? When did I pick “it” up? In the midst of the wondering, what was clear to me was that I really have been carrying a weight for as long as I can remember and I was tired of it. Just the thought of setting it down gave me a sense of peace and rest that felt so good, and at the same time so foreign. I’ve come to realize that cross I am carrying around, that weight that makes me so tired and keeps me from the lighter, lovelier life God wants for me is CONTROL. So, I am going to give up control for Lent. Wish me luck. It will be no easy task. This will probably be the hardest thing I have ever given up for Lent because it informs so much of my everyday choices, thoughts, and actions. But I felt a brief respite from it since yesterday as I made baby steps in letting go and it feels SO good. In the spirit of...
Video Evangelizing
We have exciting news from Firstfruits this week. Grab some popcorn, MilkDuds, or a glass of wine and join me for the “world premiere” of the new Firstfruit’s video! (see below) I promise you it will be the most inspiring two minutes and fifty seconds you have spent since the Super bowl half time show. (Don’t get me started) With this video we are a step closer to being able to really explain what Firstfruits is all about. If that is even possible. Many of you have shared with me about how hard it is to explain Firstfruits to friends and family. Believe me, I understand. I still don’t have my elevator pitch down. But isn’t that how it is with any working of the Holy Spirit? How can that power and transforming potential be put into words? How can an experience of God’s, freely given, no strings attached, love be adequately described in a sentence? These things need to be experienced first hand. Firstfruits is there to help you have those experiences. There are many reasons why we find it hard to talk to others about our spiritual experiences regardless of how amazing and powerful they are. It’s especially hard to share such intimate details with those closest to us. Extending an invitation to something like Firstfruits can be challenging. Now you can just send the video link and a smiley face and leave the rest to God! As we begin the season of Lent this week I hope you will consider joining us. And rather than giving up something this Lent, how about doing something each day to show your gratitude to Jesus for the ultimate sacrifice he made for you. Consider sending this video to one person each day. Help others find a place to be encouraged, inspired, and empowered on their faith journey and some remarkable women to share that journey with. The fruits of Firstfruits! Sit back, silence your cell phones, and enjoy the show! Joan [vc_video link="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bewlJK7QW5w&feature=youtu.be" title="This is Firstfruits" css=".vc_custom_1582064694414{margin: 8px !important;}"]...