Love 101
So you made it through another Valentines Day. Or should I say PALentines Day or GALentines Day? There are so many variations. How was it? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being highest, how loved did you feel? How precious, important, and irreplaceable did you feel? And how long did it last? In the worldly pursuit of the inclusion, connection, and love we crave, we lose sight of the powerful love that is all around us every minute of every day of the year. And we don’t have to pursue it or do anything to receive it except to say “YES.” All we have to do is accept it and it’s ours. It doesn’t come in dozens or coated in chocolate. It isn’t there one day and gone the next. You never have to wonder how long it will last or if you deserve it. You just have to believe it’s real and believe it’s for you. That’s the love of God. It’s waiting for you. Crazy you say? Hard to believe something so amazing could be that easy to obtain. Nothing in life is easy; you have to work for anything that is worthwhile. That’s the mystery and the majesty of God’s unconditional love. Easy for you to say, you don’t know the real me. You don’t know my track record. You would be surprised at some of the things I have done, said, and thought. That love might be for some people but not for me. That’s the mountain of mercy in God’s unconditional love. And really, where is the proof of this unconditional love? How am I suppose to believe in something so abstract? That’s the meaning and the message of the season starting next week that we call Lent. What more proof of this amazing love than Christ’s passion, death, and resurrection. Stop the excuses. Stop the denials. Let down your guard and let in the love. Joan Want to experience that love of God this Lent? Join us at Firstfruits for these special events: Mary’s Way of the Cross- Wednesdays from 10:45-11:15 Slow… Simple,,, Soft, a Lenten retreat with Carol Sullivan on Thursday, March 12, 19, and 26 from 9:00-10:45. See our calendar of events at Firstfruits.info for details....
Given
This week at Well Time at Firstfruits we finished up our discussion of what it means to live the life of the Beloved. In Henri Nouwen’s book, Life of the Beloved, he talks about how there are four movements of the Holy Spirit that define the life of the Beloved. These truths are that we are Chosen, Blessed, Broken, and finally, Given. In fact we are chosen, blessed, and broken so we can ultimately be given to others. It’s in living for others that our lives find their true significance. Nouwen says, “True joy, happiness, and inner peace come from giving of ourselves to others.” I don’t know about you, but there are days when giving of myself to others brings me the opposite of joy, happiness, and inner peace, it brings me resentment, anger, and a headache. Can I get an amen? I realized of late, that it’s when our “giving” revolves around what we can do for someone rather than what we can be for someone, that we can experience burn out. The giving in the life of the Beloved is a giving of ourselves; our joy in living, our sense of well-being, our inner peace, and our grateful heart. It’s through this giving that we can be for each other. We can be the encourager, we can be the calm, we can be the truth, we can be the hope for each other. But you can’t give that which you do not have. I repeat, you can't give that which you do not have. Our exhaustion comes when we try to give what we do not have. We have to let God fill us with all he has for us so it just overflows into the lives of those around us, the lives of those he puts in our path. Giving becomes a way of life rather than a check mark on a “TO DO” list. That overflow happens naturally the more we believe in and claim our chosenness, blessedness and brokenness. We will be able to give to others our joy in living and inner peace once we truly believe and understand the truth that we are chosen and precious in God’s eyes and nothing the world says can change that. We will able to give to others our grateful heart as we become more aware of the blessings that bombard us every day. We will be able to give to others our sense of well-being...
Brokenness
The last two weeks we have talked about the very good news of our status as the Beloved of God, the truth of our core identity. What could be better than that? The truth of that statement, if we can really believe it, should set us free. Free from a lot of the chains that bind us. Things like low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, doubts about our purpose, loneliness, and rejection. The list could go on and on. On top of knowing we are the Beloved, we are also to wrap our brains around the truths that we are Chosen of God and Blessed. That is the what the life of the Beloved consists of according to Henri Nouwen’s book The Life of the Beloved. It’s all so wonderful. My practical, cynical side says it just seems too good to be true, to simple, too wonderful. There must be a catch. This week we deal with the catch. Nouwen tells us that the third truth of the Beloved is the hardest and the least talked about. That is our brokenness. And we are all broken. If you think you aren’t, think again. For some it’s just harder to see. We often associate brokenness with people who are physically or mentally challenged but the brokenness that Nouwen says is more common is a brokenness of the heart. But who wants to talk about how broken they are? Our brokenness is very intimate and personal. Who wants to go belly up and say out loud that they are addicted to controlling people and situations. Who wants to yell it from the rooftop that they are overwhelmed daily with fears and anxiety. Who makes a point of letting their co-workers know the depth of their sadness? We don the coat of denial and keep on smiling. We might find temporary relief in the mall, on the golf course, with our secret stash of Oreos, or maybe in the liquor cabinet. But it never goes away, it just hides for awhile. Nouwen says there are two healthy ways to respond to our brokenness. The first is to befriend it. Our natural instinct is to deny, avoid, and ignore our brokenness. We need to face it squarely as a natural part of the life of the Beloved. In order to do that, we need to find people we can be broken with. Just as we talked last week about the need to surround ourselves with people...
Pizza on China
For years now, I have been getting together monthly with four dear old friends for what we call Fun Club. It’s just so darn fun. We meet on a Friday night, taking turns at each other’s houses. The best part of Fun Club is that you don’t have to dress up or fuss with even trying to look presentable. Most of the time we just come in whatever we have been wearing all day. The only fussing I do is to throw some slippers in a bag to change into. We keep the menu very simple. Most of the time it’s pizza on paper plates, double chocolate malted milk balls, and lots of wine. I told you it was fun! But last Friday’s Fun Club was different. When I got to Deb’s house, the dining room table was set with heirloom china, crystal, and silverware along with linen napkins. I could still smell pizza so I knew I was in the right place but was thrown off by the ambiance. When we sat down to eat, Deb told us an amazing story. During her prayer time that morning, she heard the following and wrote it down. They are my daughters who deserve the finest china and linens in the house. Praise be to God for the love union of these women whom I call daughters. I love you. Later that day she had a strong sense of her deceased grandma’s presence as she was driving in her car. She was reminded of the china, crystal, and silverware that was gifted to her by her grandma, and collecting dust in her china cabinet. Then, randomly her mom phoned from Arizona and when Deb mentioned she was having Fun Club that night, her mom said,”You should use your nice china, crystal, and silverware.” It became clear to Deb that this Fun Club was destined to be a memorable one. If you have been following my blogs the last few weeks, you know that at Well Time on Wednesday mornings at Firstfruits we have been talking about our identity as the Beloved of God. We have been inspired by Henri Nouwen’s book Life of the Beloved to learn all we can about how to become the Beloved. The first couple chapters remind us that to really become the Beloved, to feel that truth to the core and reflect it in our words, attitudes, and actions we have to become more aware of how...
Chosen
It seems like yesterday, middle school gym class at St. Mary of the Woods grade school in Edgebrook, Illinois. We were picking teams for a game of basketball and, as always, I was picked last. No one ever appreciated the 4’5”, 80lb powerhouse I was. I wasn’t chosen. Have you ever not been chosen for something? Not a good feeling. But I’m here this week to tell, all you unchosen, some really good news. It comes from the same book I talked about last week, The Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen. As I mentioned last week, Nouwen wants us to believe in our Belovedness. The core truth of our existence is that we are the Beloved of God. The world tries to tell us otherwise. We have to ignore those voices that tell us we are worthless or unloveable and remind ourselves that we are the Beloved. Nouwen goes on to say that we are to become the Beloved, not just use it as an adjective. We need to believe it and let that truth filter into our words , actions, and attitudes. That is when we will change and we can then affect a change in others. The greatest gift we can give another is the gift of their Belovedness. So how do we become the Beloved? How do we get that truth so deeply embedded in ourselves that it makes a difference? The rest of the book deals with the four movements of the Holy Spirit that are continually at work in our lives to help us realize our Belovedness. They are described as Taken, Blessed, Broken, and Given. This week I want to talk about Taken, or maybe a softer word for it would be Chosen. In order to really believe the truth of our Belovedness, we need to believe we are God’s chosen ones. Already, I feel a slightly sick, angry feeling in the pit of my stomach. Flashbacks of gym class filling my head. The worldly notion of chosen means when someone is chosen that means someone else isn’t. Someone else is excluded or rejected. In the world of God’s chosen it’s quite the opposite. To be chosen of God does not mean others are rejected. It includes others, accepts others. It is not a competitive choice; it is a compassionate choice. All are chosen. Before we were even knit in our mothers wombs, we were chosen by the eyes of...
Who Are You?
What does it mean to be the Beloved? This was our topic at Well Time at Firstfruits this past Wednesday morning. We looked up the definition of beloved and it said, "greatly loved; dear to the heart." One of the women in the group said that word has never been in her vocabulary. Probably quite a few of us could say the same thing. It’s not a word we would regularly use to describe ourselves, although we should. Henri Nouwen in his book The Life of the Beloved states that the reality of being the Beloved is the core truth of our existence. There is no better or more accurate way to describe our identity. We are, above all else, the Beloved of God. So why is that title so foreign and uncomfortable for us? I think it’s because it’s just too hard to believe. Nouwen goes on to say that the greatest trap in our lives is self-rejection. We so easily fall victim to the voices that tell us what we aren’t, those voices that remind us how often we fall short and screw up. And convince us that everyone else is doing just fine. He sums it up when he says “Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the Beloved.” Do you hear that voice? It’s a gentle voice and comes to us in countless ways. People that have taught us, cared for us, or encouraged us. Simple, tender moments with those we love. The rush of joy or momentary deep sense of well-being that floods through us unexpectedly. We need to listen more carefully. Nouwen says, “Every time you listen with great attentiveness to the voice that calls you the Beloved, you will discover within yourself a desire to hear that voice longer and more deeply. It is like discovering a well in the desert.” If we can become the Beloved, if we can believe and let that knowledge really sink into our every day words and actions, think how different life would be. None of the world’s voices could touch us. We would be free to live and love abundantly and with great joy. And be able to give the greatest gift of all to others, the gift of their Belovedness. This week I challenge you as I challenge myself to claim the truth that you are the Beloved. Broaden your vocabulary! Joan...
Get Off the Fence
We have all been invited to come home spiritually this new year. More specifically, to come to our spiritual home that is Firstfruits. The invite came in the blog last week from the Spirit of Firstfruits. (I’m still recovering from that harrowing experience.) So in an effort to knock you off the fence if that is where you are in your New Year’s resolution to come home spiritually, I’m going to devote this blog to telling you all about some new, really awesome, things that are going to go on at Firstfruits in this new year. The We-Awareness Series Following our study of the book of James last fall, which emphasized the importance of caring for the poor and putting our faith into action, many of the women who participated experienced a growing sense of responsibility and a deepening desire to answer the call to Christian stewardship and solidarity with those in need. The Spirit of Firstfruits heard and answered those desires. We will begin a monthly series called We-Awareness in January. Once a month we will host an interactive retreat day with the leaders and members of different organizations that are providing help for those in need. The goal is to create oneness with those in need and a sense of empowering compassion within this newly formed community. MacCanon Brown, founder of the MacCanon Brown Homeless Sanctuary will facilitate the first of the series on January 23 with some members of the Sanctuary community. MacCanon coined the phrase “We-Awareness” and will share with us her passion for the place of community in successful service to those in need. Join Joan Sitting at my computer each week, relaying random thoughts that come to me usually in the wee hours of the night, to an audience I can’t see, is my idea of the most fun you could ever have. It is such a privilege and a gift God has given me. Then there is the icing on the cake, when I hear from one of you that you actually read those random thoughts and they had some sort of effect on you. The comments I hear are so affirming of the fact that God is real and alive and in love with us. I hear the stories but wouldn’t it be fun if we could hear each other’s stories? If once in a while you could all join me at Firstfruits in the flesh! So, on Sunday, January 19...
Sabotaged
I’ll make this quick. I kidnapped Joan and have her hands bound with duck tape so I can write the blog this week. Here we are a few days before New Year’s Eve. We look back over the last week with gratitude and joy and look forward to this coming week with a sense of newness and second chances. Last week visions of sugarplums danced in our heads. This week visions of slimmer waistlines, empty ashtrays, and cheerful interactions with screaming toddlers fill our brains as we turn to those tried and tried again resolutions. I challenge you to think outside the box this New Years as you make your resolutions. My suggestion… resolve to come home, spiritually. I promise if you do, all the rest will come. Aren’t you tired of the pretending? Come home where you can be you. Aren’t you tired of the anxiety? Come home to the peace. Aren’t you fed up with the disappointments? Come home to what your heart really desires. Hasn’t the loneliness gone on too long? Come home to kindred spirits. Haven’t you had enough of the band-aids? Come home to the true healing. There’s a home for you if you are ready. A place where you can come when you need to and always feel welcome. A place that you can come to once in a while and never feel guilty or ashamed for the times you didn’t come. A place that calms your soul. A place where all you have to do is be. A place where others are just being. A place of comfort and support. It’s called Firstfruits. Let your 2020 vision be one of clarity and health in your spiritual life. Imagine yourself coming home. I’ll be waiting for you. The Spirit of Firstfruits...
True Joy
It’s the third week in Advent when we light the pink candle and joy abounds! Everywhere we look, people are rejoicing in the fact that very soon Christmas will be here, the eagerly awaited celebration of the birth of our Savior. Hmm…not exactly, well maybe on the Hallmark Channel. For many, with the lighting of each candle on the Advent wreath, it just means that much less time to get to the end of the To-Do list. It means that much closer to having to face the reality of Christmas without a loved one for the first time, of trying times with difficult family members, or the anxiety of not being able to provide as many presents under the tree this year. Life is full of chores, challenges, sadness, frustration, resentment, and loss, things that steal our happiness. But it doesn’t have to steal our joy. That is, if our joy is in the Lord. Joy in the Lord doesn’t change or slowly fade over time. It is timeless. Joy in Him is not dependent on circumstances or how we happen to feel on a given day. It is a constant source of peace, protection, and refuge. It is a joy that is our stronghold and allows us to prevail. And it is something we can choose. It is a gift we have been given. As we grow in faith, our hearts are touched by the knowledge of the great love Jesus has for us and His deep desire to give us all that we need to live this life abundantly. This powerful joy in Him is one of his desires for us. Chapter 17 in the Gospel of John is a beautiful prayer of Jesus to the Father before he is arrested and begins his journey to the cross. It is also a love letter to us. In it Jesus shows his deep love and concern for us. In verse 13 he says, “But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves.” The “they” that he speaks of is us. He desired for us that we would have the same joy fulfilled in us that was fulfilled in Him by his close relationship with the Father. A joy that brings with it great strength to endure whatever comes our way. Look at what Jesus was able to endure with the...
Cardigan Sweaters and Bow Ties
This week I saw the new Mister Rogers movie called It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. To say I love Fred Rogers is an understatement. I have often used him in my talks and writings in the past. Anyone who knows me, knows my admiration for him. St. Nick, (a.k.a.- my friend Mary) gave me a magnetic dress-up Mister Rogers. He now has a prominent place on my desk lamp in my office. (See the picture.) I really believe the world would be a better place if more people could let out their inner Fred. We are all born in the image and likeness of God. We harbor within us an inherent goodness, a goodness that has the power to significantly touch the lives of others in a positive way. It can ignite transformation. On top of that we have within us the indwelling Holy Spirit whose gifts are at our disposal all the time. When we stir up the Holy Spirit, our lives bear witness to the fruits of the Spirit, which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Sounds a lot like Fred Rogers. To me he is a good example to us of what a life in the Spirit looks like. His genuine kindness and care for others, especially children, his simplicity, his patience, his gentle disposition, the peace that followed in his wake, and the apparent joy his face reflected, all gifts of the Spirit, all desperately needed in the world today and all within each and every one of us waiting to get out. He reminds us that true power lies in simplicity, humility, genuineness, and vulnerability. The act of simply giving your full attention and listening to someone can change a life. Admitting mistakes and that you don’t know it all, can heal a relationship. Asking for help can give someone purpose. Sharing feelings can release others from the bondage of their own. It’s with these attributes that the Holy Spirit can work. In this second week of Advent let’s ask God to show us how to stir up the Holy Spirit in our own lives, how to unleash the power for good that we all have within us. How to just be kinder, gentler, and more loving. What a beautiful day in the neighborhood that would be. Joan...