The “L” Word
I was happy to see that the high temperature for today was going to be minus seven. It gave me an excuse to sit in the warmth of the sunspot at my kitchen table for a bit longer than usual this morning. In that extra time my mind wandered to thoughts of the amazing women I was gifted to spend time with at the mini-retreat at Firstfruits last week. And the powerful messages the Holy Spirit whispered to all of us. Different messages for different needs. That is the beauty of the Holy Spirit. When we open ourselves to the movement of the Spirit in our lives, when we slow down enough to hear the whispers, and have the faith to believe what we hear, our lives are so much better. There was a common theme, a somewhat universal need that I heard in many of the conversations I had at the retreat. One word I heard numerous times: The "L" word. Not lack of sleep, labor stories, or liposuction. It was loneliness. You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely. How often married women feel lonely. Moms with a bustling household of little ones feel lonely. A widow surrounded by family and friends on the holiday can feel lonely. Everyone has experienced loneliness, myself included, but we don’t casually admit it. Why don’t we admit when we are lonely? Because to admit you’re lonely feels like you are telling the whole world what a loser you are. As if loneliness is something we have control over and should be able to avoid. If only we were friendlier, we’d have people clamoring for our time. If we had more interests and imagination, we could fill our lives with fun and exciting things. If we were busier, we wouldn’t have time to be lonely. So then we get too busy. Carol Sullivan, gave a presentation based on Henri Nouwen’s book Can You Drink The Cup? at the mini-retreat. In it she reminded us of the importance of lifting our cup of life with both its joys and its sorrows, with others, in celebration, as a gift from God. Celebrating life together with a community is essential to the spiritual life and to our healing. We are healed by not hiding our joys and sorrows from each other. It is so important for women to find a safe, comfortable place to do just that. It brought a...
Just Do It
God has determined, unless I interfere with his plan that I should reach that which is my greatest happiness. John Henry Cardinal Newman If you have ever been to Firstfruits you have seen this quote on a black foam board outside the entrance to our Elm Grove space. I see it often. In fact, so often that I don’t really see it anymore. Kind of like the dust bunnies under the couch and the cobwebs in the corners of most of our rooms at home. Last week for some reason as I was unlocking the front door at Firstfruits, I glanced up at the quote and it really grabbed my attention. Read it again and really let this promise sink in. God has determined that you should reach that which is your greatest happiness. Aren’t we all searching for happiness? Often in the wrong places and from the wrong people. True happiness comes from a relationship with God. He has a plan that will bring us to our greatest happiness this side of eternity with Him. The key words, and what really struck me last week, was the “unless I interfere” part. Often, we think of interference as an action, something we do that is an obstacle, but it can also come from something we don’t do. The interference can come from failing to act on something. Like a prompting or restlessness calling us to discern and use our God given gifts. Did you know that by virtue of our baptism we have all been given a mission by God? That mission is to bring His goodness and love to the world. That mission is universal. The way in which we are called to carry out that mission and to whom we are called to bring His goodness and love to is as varied as there are people on this planet. God has uniquely gifted each of us for this mission and brings the people and situations to our lives that need our gifts. Our job is to discern those gifts and be open to using them as we are called to use them. That is how we bring God’s goodness and love to the world and great happiness and joy to our own lives. Because the gifts we have been given and the unique “work” we are called to are perfect for us. More perfect than we could think up ourselves because they are given to us by...
Winter Blues
I’m feeling a little blue. How are you? Are you feeling a little blue too? Sounds like the introduction to a depressing Dr. Seuss book. This time of year can tend to be a bit depressing. Although this year we can’t blame it on the snow. The holidays are over. We’re back to eating Oreos instead of delicately frosted cut out cookies. No more “Feliz Navidad” playing on the radio. (Actually that is a good thing.) And the leftover fruitcakes are hardening on the 75% off shelf at the grocery store. (As if they could get any harder.) The homes around me look sad and bare with all the Christmas decorations removed. The poor Christmas trees that just weeks ago were the center of attention covered in lights and festive ornaments lie abandoned and naked on every curb. (There I go again, anthropomorphing. See my blog from two weeks ago for details.) I’ve noticed that more and more people have disappeared from my exercise class and my neighborhood. Only to reappear around late April, early May very refreshed and suspiciously darker in skin color. Winter, it’s that in-between time. The time when things are laying fallow, waiting for the Creator’s annual promise of birth and newness. When what was is no longer and what is to come is unseen. It’s during these times that much is happening even though it looks the opposite. In the cycle of much of creation, lying dormant for a time is essential to life. The same is true for our spiritual life. During the fallow times we are called to rest, to quiet, to trust, and to hope. We are encouraged to look for and listen for the ways God is drawing us to a replenishing relationship with Him during this quiet time of year. With less distractions we might just hear and see Him more clearly. Enjoy this stark, bare, quiet time of year to lay dormant with the Lord. Carve out time to rest in the inactivity. Let the otherwise gloomy, grey of the season remind you of the necessity of stillness and the promise of newness to come. When you need some company to shake off the winter blues I hope you will join us at Firstfruits. The next couple months are filled with great opportunities to come to know God and His deep love for you. See Firstfruits.info for details. What could be better to chase away the winter blues? Stale...
The Etch-a-Sketch
This time of year reminds me of one of my favorite childhood toys, the Etch–a-Sketch. I had a love/hate relationship with my Etch-a-Sketch. I found it fascinating to try to draw an accurate depiction of anything other than a square or rectangle. Trying to make a perfect circle drove me insane, but I kept trying. When it got to be too much, I would take out my frustrations by just turning it upside down and shaking the daylights out of it. Then, I would start the process all over again. Resolve, determination, failure, frustration, repeat. With the turning of the calendar page last week we’ve begun a new year. Out with the old and in with the new. We can shake the daylights out of the picture we were in and resolve to start anew. With resolutions we often end up like I did with my Etch–a-Sketch, in failure and frustration unless we invite a power greater than ourselves into our picture making. When we resolve to let God lead our hands (and everything else) it becomes more of an evolution than a resolution, a slow process of creation in partnership with the One who knows the twists and turns that are necessary to shape the life He has intended for us. Eating less, exercising more. Spending less, giving more. Showing up on time, calling your mother-in-law more often, and cleaning the top of the refrigerator on a regular basis are all honorable resolutions. But I challenge you as I challenge myself to a deeper New Year’s evolution. Prayerfully consider what God might be calling you to work on, with Him, these next twelve months. Is He calling you to meet Him through the study of His word? Come join us for Weekly Word on Monday mornings. Is He urging you to take time away from the busyness and be still? Come join us for a mini-retreat on January 23. Is He showing himself to you in a restlessness that isn’t going away? A nagging feeling that there is more to life? A feeling that there is a deeper purpose for your life? Come join us for the Called and Gifted Workshop starting February 5 on Tuesday mornings or Saturday mornings. Resolve to evolve this new year. Listen to the promptings and act on them. Shake off the excuses, come to God with a clean slate, and join Him as He etches and sketches the abundant life He has waiting for...
Good Bye Old Friend
Anthropomorphism is a term that means attributing human traits, emotions, or intentions to non-human entities. I have found myself indulging in anthropomorphistic behavior of late. Only I have attributed human emotions to an inanimate object, my circa 1980 Sunbeam Mixmaster hand mixer. Let me explain. As I was contemplating the upcoming holiday baking season, I decided that it was time to get a new hand mixer. The one I currently have was a wedding gift from my parents’ good friends, Ruth and Gene. Ruth was a great cook. Unfortunately, that skill didn’t come with the mixer. It’s a simple mixer really: only three speeds, no retractable cord, and one set of beaters. But it does the trick. I just felt like I deserved a new one. I put it on my Christmas list being too cheap to just go buy myself one. Yesterday, I was at my daughter’s house. She went down in her basement, came up with a box, and handed it to me. It was a brand-new Oster hand mixer that she had, along with some other unused wedding gifts, collecting dust. She patted me on the back and said “Merry Christmas.” So, today, I was all set to use my new six-speed, ergonomically designed, retractable cord mixer with four different beaters. There is a dough hook, whisk, drink rod (whatever that is), and the beaters I recognized. I was excited to start the holiday baking. Then, it happened. I went to take my old mixer out of the drawer to throw it away and a wave of anthropomorphism came over me. I thought my old mixer must feel a twinge of sadness. Or was it me? I couldn’t just discard it. I was flooded with memories of the times I spent with that mixer over the last 38 years. Looking at the crusted-on flour on the handle and chocolate stains on the non-retractable cord, it brought back such good memories. The mash potatoes I used to make as a newlywed trying to compete with my new mother-in-law for best cook award in my husband’s eyes. The birthday celebrations of our kids and cupcakes I made for them to take to school on their birthdays until the teachers outlawed cupcakes for being too messy. The banana muffins, the banana muffins, the banana muffins I would be forced to make when our bananas went black and my frugal husband would say “Looks like WE should make some banana...
Birth
Congratulations are in order. My son-in-law’s cousin and her husband had a baby girl last week. You may have heard about them. It was all over the news. Mom delivered baby Layla in their car in the parking lot of the Country Inn on Moreland and Greenfield Ave! Unusual circumstances providing a beautiful new life for one family. As we enter into the Advent season this week, it reminds me of the birth of another baby under somewhat unusual circumstances. No parking lot, no car, no 911 call announcing the arrival. Just a stable, a manger, and a star. Unusual circumstances providing a beautiful new life whose sole purpose was to bring new life to all who would believe. Do you ever wonder what your sole purpose is? Why you were born? Try asking Siri that question next time she asks what she can help you with. ? I’m old enough to remember the Baltimore Catechism classes we had in grade school. It consisted of a series of questions about the Catholic faith and we were required to memorize the answers. That’s actually half true, I am old enough but I don’t remember much except for one of the questions that has stayed with me. It has had a profound effect on my life. The question was “Why were you born?” The answer: To know, love, and serve God in this life and be with Him for eternity in the next. Boom, bang, drop the microphone! Need I say more. If you’ve ever wondered why you were born, there it is in a nutshell. Nothing else should matter. If we spend our lives getting to know God, living in right relationship with Him, opening ourselves up to His immense love, mirroring that love to others, and discerning our gifts and where we are being called to serve with those gifts, we are living our sole purpose. So often I hear people talk about their desire to find purpose and how unsettling and scary it can be at those times in life when the purpose they were functioning under becomes blurred or pulled out from under them. A good portion of our sense of security and well-being comes from a solid feeling of purpose. When that is shaken, we are shaken. We need to keep our sights set on that sole purpose, on why we were born. That is where we find God, the ultimate security...
Blessings
I have a lot of blessings to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. There are the more universal blessings that remind me there is a loving God. A supportive husband, three grown children and their spouses who are genuinely good and kind human beings, five beautiful grand babies, my health, purposeful work, and friends and family who love me...
The Thrill of Hope
I met four incredibly inspiring women this week. I can’t stop thinking about them. Last Wednesday evening as part of the Firstfruits mini retreat, we had a session on grief and loss. I was blessed to be allowed to share in these four women’s stories of loss and heartbreak. Three of the women had lost a spouse. Two of them at a very young age. For one, widowhood had come to visit for a second time. And one of the women had lost a son. I can’t stop thinking about them because of the impact their strength and courage has had on me. Even as they spoke of living in a fog and finding it hard to just get out of bed some days, their courage and strength shone through. They somehow found the strength to continue on. I know there are many other grieving women and men and children out there that these women represent. Some reading this blog, some in my exercise class, some in my neighborhood, some in my own family. Along with the inspiration I gained from being allowed into the hurt these women have endured was a lesson I learned that I want to share. A lesson on how to help those who are hurting. Here’s what I learned from these brave, tender hearted teachers: · Talk about the loved one that has passed. Use their name. Say it out loud. · Don’t worry about what to say, about saying the right thing. Just be there in silence. Less is more. · It’s a couple’s world. Include those who are single in your plans. Think of them. Include them. · Don’t put parameters on their grief or a timeframe. Just let them grieve. Don’t try to fix it. With the holidays coming up it’s important to be especially caring and compassionate to those who are grieving. The holidays aren’t a Hallmark movie for everyone. Some are having to dig a little deeper to find something to be thankful for and to some the coming Christmas season is anything but merry. The other reason I can’t stop thinking about the strength and courage of these women is that it’s such a testimony to the love and compassion our God has for us. At our weakest he is strong. He is our strength. He is our hope. He calls on us to deliver that hope to others. His hope promises to soothe the grief. Not remove it but soothe...
Destiny
I met someone this week who told me she actually reads my blogs! (Rosie, you know who you are?!) It felt good to be affirmed and encouraged. I met her when I was asked to speak to a group of women who began meeting monthly about three years ago to share fellowship, faith and spirits. (The liquid kind that is!) I came to find out that I was their swan song so to speak. The gathering I was invited to speak at was the last for this group of women committed to their faith. There wasn’t anyone able to take over the responsibility of organizing the group going forward. I thought maybe there is a reason I was asked to talk to this group at this time. The topic I was to speak on was my faith journey and how it led to Firstfruits. To explain what the mission of Firstfruits is and what we are all about. And what Firstfruits is all about is gathering women for fellowship, to grow in their faith and to experience the Spirit. A perfect match. A perfect solution. Perfect timing from our perfect God. Have you ever discovered you were put somewhere or met someone or went through something at the time you did, for a reason? That God had something to do with the timing of events? Often times we don’t see it as it’s happening, only in retrospect. How often our history plays a part in our destiny. On Tuesday mornings we have a bible study at Firstfruits. We are studying the book of Esther. It’s all about destiny and how God shows us dimensions of our destiny throughout our lives. The providential hand of God is at work in our lives all the time. Esther, a Jew, is crowned Queen of Persia which in that time was a miracle in itself. The timing of her queenship is perfect because a decree had gone out to annihilate all the Jews. Esther, however, is in a perfect position to influence her husband, King Xerxes, and save her people. Speaking up is risky for Esther. She possibly could face death, but if she doesn’t act on what she knows she is being called to do, not only will she die but her people too. A dimension of her destiny is before her. She has to make a decision. She’s scared and unsure. Esther’s cousin, Mordecai, responds to her reluctance with...
Goodness
I have a Firstfruits hangover! There was just too much fun and happiness and love all in one room at our First Anniversary celebration last Thursday. I don’t know what was better: the band, the food, the raffle items, or the fellowship. God’s hand was in it all! As I looked around the room at people laughing and dancing I was reminded of the importance of recognizing and celebrating the profound goodness that is around us every day. So often we get mired in disappointment, discouragement, and defeat. The “glass half empty” syndrome. When right in front of us is God’s constant reminders of his unfathomable love. How did he show that love? Free use of a beautiful space for our event when the weather didn’t cooperate. Through the generosity of Jamie O’Donoghue who provided food for us and the Brzezinski family who provided the beverages. Through the talent of No Expectations, a band of local musicians lifting our moods and our feet with their beats. Through the loyalty of an old friend who drove hours to be there to surprise me, who “wouldn’t have missed it.” Through the unfailing dedication (and patience with my crazy ideas) of Mary Stachowiak and the band of merry volunteers that truly are God’s hands. ...