Control No More
So what are you giving up for Lent? I have decided to give up control for Lent. What exactly does that mean, you say? Isn’t that the opposite of the discipline of fasting that is encouraged during these 40 days? Fasting takes a great deal of control. Controlling our carts as they propel us into the unnecessary aisle at Target. Controlling the steering wheel as we drive by Kopps and the flavor of the day is Tiramasu, or controlling our tongue as the car behind us decides we are driving too slow past Kopps and lays on the horn. This is a different control, and yes, it will take a lot of control to fast from control. But I know my need for control is one of my biggest obstacles to a deeper, more transforming relationship with God. Not being able to hand the reins over is a constant challenge. Not being able to set it down. During the February Fire, winter workshop at Firstfruits last Sunday, we talked about Self Care. We were encouraged to ponder where we are in that discipline. As I was writing down things I could do to take care of myself, the phrase “Set it down” popped into my mind. I don’t really know what that means, but it was loud and clear. One of those moments of clarity and at the same time wonder. What is “it”? Who wants me to set “it” down? When did I pick “it” up? In the midst of the wondering, what was clear to me was that I really have been carrying a weight for as long as I can remember and I was tired of it. Just the thought of setting it down gave me a sense of peace and rest that felt so good, and at the same time so foreign. I’ve come to realize that cross I am carrying around, that weight that makes me so tired and keeps me from the lighter, lovelier life God wants for me is CONTROL. So, I am going to give up control for Lent. Wish me luck. It will be no easy task. This will probably be the hardest thing I have ever given up for Lent because it informs so much of my everyday choices, thoughts, and actions. But I felt a brief respite from it since yesterday as I made baby steps in letting go and it feels SO good. In the spirit of...
Video Evangelizing
We have exciting news from Firstfruits this week. Grab some popcorn, MilkDuds, or a glass of wine and join me for the “world premiere” of the new Firstfruit’s video! (see below) I promise you it will be the most inspiring two minutes and fifty seconds you have spent since the Super bowl half time show. (Don’t get me started) With this video we are a step closer to being able to really explain what Firstfruits is all about. If that is even possible. Many of you have shared with me about how hard it is to explain Firstfruits to friends and family. Believe me, I understand. I still don’t have my elevator pitch down. But isn’t that how it is with any working of the Holy Spirit? How can that power and transforming potential be put into words? How can an experience of God’s, freely given, no strings attached, love be adequately described in a sentence? These things need to be experienced first hand. Firstfruits is there to help you have those experiences. There are many reasons why we find it hard to talk to others about our spiritual experiences regardless of how amazing and powerful they are. It’s especially hard to share such intimate details with those closest to us. Extending an invitation to something like Firstfruits can be challenging. Now you can just send the video link and a smiley face and leave the rest to God! As we begin the season of Lent this week I hope you will consider joining us. And rather than giving up something this Lent, how about doing something each day to show your gratitude to Jesus for the ultimate sacrifice he made for you. Consider sending this video to one person each day. Help others find a place to be encouraged, inspired, and empowered on their faith journey and some remarkable women to share that journey with. The fruits of Firstfruits! Sit back, silence your cell phones, and enjoy the show! Joan [vc_video link="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bewlJK7QW5w&feature=youtu.be" title="This is Firstfruits" css=".vc_custom_1582064694414{margin: 8px !important;}"]...
Love 101
So you made it through another Valentines Day. Or should I say PALentines Day or GALentines Day? There are so many variations. How was it? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being highest, how loved did you feel? How precious, important, and irreplaceable did you feel? And how long did it last? In the worldly pursuit of the inclusion, connection, and love we crave, we lose sight of the powerful love that is all around us every minute of every day of the year. And we don’t have to pursue it or do anything to receive it except to say “YES.” All we have to do is accept it and it’s ours. It doesn’t come in dozens or coated in chocolate. It isn’t there one day and gone the next. You never have to wonder how long it will last or if you deserve it. You just have to believe it’s real and believe it’s for you. That’s the love of God. It’s waiting for you. Crazy you say? Hard to believe something so amazing could be that easy to obtain. Nothing in life is easy; you have to work for anything that is worthwhile. That’s the mystery and the majesty of God’s unconditional love. Easy for you to say, you don’t know the real me. You don’t know my track record. You would be surprised at some of the things I have done, said, and thought. That love might be for some people but not for me. That’s the mountain of mercy in God’s unconditional love. And really, where is the proof of this unconditional love? How am I suppose to believe in something so abstract? That’s the meaning and the message of the season starting next week that we call Lent. What more proof of this amazing love than Christ’s passion, death, and resurrection. Stop the excuses. Stop the denials. Let down your guard and let in the love. Joan Want to experience that love of God this Lent? Join us at Firstfruits for these special events: Mary’s Way of the Cross- Wednesdays from 10:45-11:15 Slow… Simple,,, Soft, a Lenten retreat with Carol Sullivan on Thursday, March 12, 19, and 26 from 9:00-10:45. See our calendar of events at Firstfruits.info for details....
Given
This week at Well Time at Firstfruits we finished up our discussion of what it means to live the life of the Beloved. In Henri Nouwen’s book, Life of the Beloved, he talks about how there are four movements of the Holy Spirit that define the life of the Beloved. These truths are that we are Chosen, Blessed, Broken, and finally, Given. In fact we are chosen, blessed, and broken so we can ultimately be given to others. It’s in living for others that our lives find their true significance. Nouwen says, “True joy, happiness, and inner peace come from giving of ourselves to others.” I don’t know about you, but there are days when giving of myself to others brings me the opposite of joy, happiness, and inner peace, it brings me resentment, anger, and a headache. Can I get an amen? I realized of late, that it’s when our “giving” revolves around what we can do for someone rather than what we can be for someone, that we can experience burn out. The giving in the life of the Beloved is a giving of ourselves; our joy in living, our sense of well-being, our inner peace, and our grateful heart. It’s through this giving that we can be for each other. We can be the encourager, we can be the calm, we can be the truth, we can be the hope for each other. But you can’t give that which you do not have. I repeat, you can't give that which you do not have. Our exhaustion comes when we try to give what we do not have. We have to let God fill us with all he has for us so it just overflows into the lives of those around us, the lives of those he puts in our path. Giving becomes a way of life rather than a check mark on a “TO DO” list. That overflow happens naturally the more we believe in and claim our chosenness, blessedness and brokenness. We will be able to give to others our joy in living and inner peace once we truly believe and understand the truth that we are chosen and precious in God’s eyes and nothing the world says can change that. We will able to give to others our grateful heart as we become more aware of the blessings that bombard us every day. We will be able to give to others our sense of well-being...
Brokenness
The last two weeks we have talked about the very good news of our status as the Beloved of God, the truth of our core identity. What could be better than that? The truth of that statement, if we can really believe it, should set us free. Free from a lot of the chains that bind us. Things like low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, doubts about our purpose, loneliness, and rejection. The list could go on and on. On top of knowing we are the Beloved, we are also to wrap our brains around the truths that we are Chosen of God and Blessed. That is the what the life of the Beloved consists of according to Henri Nouwen’s book The Life of the Beloved. It’s all so wonderful. My practical, cynical side says it just seems too good to be true, to simple, too wonderful. There must be a catch. This week we deal with the catch. Nouwen tells us that the third truth of the Beloved is the hardest and the least talked about. That is our brokenness. And we are all broken. If you think you aren’t, think again. For some it’s just harder to see. We often associate brokenness with people who are physically or mentally challenged but the brokenness that Nouwen says is more common is a brokenness of the heart. But who wants to talk about how broken they are? Our brokenness is very intimate and personal. Who wants to go belly up and say out loud that they are addicted to controlling people and situations. Who wants to yell it from the rooftop that they are overwhelmed daily with fears and anxiety. Who makes a point of letting their co-workers know the depth of their sadness? We don the coat of denial and keep on smiling. We might find temporary relief in the mall, on the golf course, with our secret stash of Oreos, or maybe in the liquor cabinet. But it never goes away, it just hides for awhile. Nouwen says there are two healthy ways to respond to our brokenness. The first is to befriend it. Our natural instinct is to deny, avoid, and ignore our brokenness. We need to face it squarely as a natural part of the life of the Beloved. In order to do that, we need to find people we can be broken with. Just as we talked last week about the need to surround ourselves with people...
The Dog Park
If I had to guess, I'd say heaven is like the dog park. Not familiar with the dog park? It's a vast open space where dogs and their owners can come and run free. Well, the dogs that is...
He’s Home
Every party my parents ever had was a luau. Whether it was their anniversary, a neighborhood block party, or just a small group of friends over, there were always plastic leis and pineapple cups. Now just store that information away for a minute, it's important later on. My dad died of cancer about ten years ago. I asked him as things were progressing if he would let me know when he got to Heaven; when he made it home. He said he didn't think you were allowed to do that. I told him to try anyway. At his funeral luncheon I told Fr. Maher that I hadn't heard from my dad yet. Father smiled and whispered, "Be patient." Life went on and I kind of forgot about it. Then one year to the day my dad died, we were looking at a prospective new house. The last room to see was the basement. I walked down the stairs and got the chills. There before me was a basement that had been transformed into a Hawaiian paradise - thatched grass ceiling, bamboo paneling, and a palm tree mural covering the whole wall. Hmm...
Abiding
Thank goodness for my four-legged friend, Rudy. On any given day he is the difference between the love I need and the love I receive. No offense to my husband and kids, but you moms know what I'm talking about. My dog Rudy loves me no matter what. He adores me. He has to be in the same room with me when possible. That's what I mean about husband and kids. You don't get that kind of love from either, past the age of ten for the kids, and maybe after the fifth anniversary for the husband. If I'm behind a closed door, Rudy waits, head resting on paws, looking up with his brown eyes, waiting for the door to open. He can't stand to be separated from me. Because when we are together, life is good, and he can rest in that. Hmm...
Coincidences
For the most part I don't think there are many real coincidences. Yeah, I suppose when you show up at a dinner with the same dress as the woman sitting next to you, that might be a coincidence - and an embarrassment I might add! But to me, things happen for a reason. Take, for instance, the time I was at eight o'clock daily mass, a little anxious because I was going back for a repeat mammogram later that morning. There was a density. I got on my knees and prayed for the Blessed Mother's intercession. Just as I finished my prayer, a gentleman came up to me and handed me a bag and said, "I want you to have this." I opened the bag and in it was an 8x10 picture of the Blessed Mother that he had gotten on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje. Coincidence? I think not. What comfort that brought me...
A Mom to the End
I was blessed to be with my mom when she died. It was just the two of us, or so it seemed. I had been at the nursing home most of the day. I called my husband to join me and bring something to eat. After I hung up the phone, it became clear that mom wasn't going to last much longer. But being a mom to the end, she didn't want me to be alone when her time came, so she patiently waited for my husband to get there. The minute he opened the door to her room, her heart stopped. Her last act was an act of deep and caring love for me. I'll never forget that. Whenever I'm feeling particularly blue and missing her, all I need to do is remind myself of that love that was so evident in that final moment of her life. Hmm...